Here’s Why Some Lesbians Deeply Enjoy Strap-on Sex

While leaving the gym, I ran into an old friend from high school. Though I hate running into people I haven’t seen in ages, this time small talk was unavoidable. We asked each other the basic questions of life, but I have to admit I already Facebook crept her a couple of months ago. She’s one of those people that make you check-in with them, you know, see where they are in life. I knew she was a lesbian, dating this woman who enjoys riding horses and making campfires. I already knew everything there was to know, expect the details. After a couple of minutes, she offered to grab a coffee, and I said yes. I knew this was my chance to clear up some of the myths that were floating around in my head about strapon dating and maybe she had the answers.

The details were what I was curious about. I wasn’t a lesbian, and though I understood and respected the basics of it, I wanted to know more. We sat down, I ordered a cold coffee; she had a latte. We talked about life, and I brought up her relationship. “Listen,” I said, “I want to ask you a question that’s really been on my mind.” She smiled openly and nodded, “sure, what is it?” I looked at her for a moment with hesitation, can I ask her this? Can you ask people you haven’t seen in ten years a question like this?

“I want to know more about strap-on sex,” I replied. “That is if you know anything about it. I have a lot of questions about it, and people ask me about it like I’m some wise wizard. But, I haven’t tried it before, so I don’t really know.” She leaned back and laughed, “is this why you agreed to go to coffee with me?” I laughed, “well, partially yes. But I’m also curious about your opinion on these things.” She leaned forward, “well, I do have strap-on sex with my partner if that’s what you’re asking.” I nodded, “but why?” Her eyebrows furrowed, “what do you mean why?” I paused for a moment, rephrasing my thoughts, “I guess my question is why have strap-on sex?” Over the next thirty minutes, I was given all the reasons why.

A dildo isn’t a penis

Here’s what we get wrong with lesbian strap-on sex. Most of us assume that lesbians opt for strap-on sex because they miss having sex with men. But that’s wrong. Just because a woman enjoys using a dildo doesn’t mean she wants to have sex with men. A dildo is a phallic object that both men and women use for pleasure. It’s not a penis.

Strap-on sex spices things up

Like everything in life, a routine can become boring. Whether it’s lesbian, gay, or straight sex, doing the same sex positions can become dull. But strap-on sex spices things up and allows lesbian couples to try new positions, broadening their sexual repertoire. Strap-on sex isn’t necessarily used every time a couple has sex. Instead, it can be used to switch up the routine and put a little va-va-voom back in the bedroom.

It changes power dynamics

Most people assume that in lesbian relationships, there is a butch/femme dynamic where the masculine individual is the top and the feminine individual is the bottom. However, that’s not the case. Firstly, women, regardless of their features, can like a variety of other types of women. A butch can date someone femme, androgynous or tomboy and vice versa. During sex, role reversal happens often and allows both women to try out different power dynamics. Women can experience both the desire to penetrate and be penetrated; they’re more fluid when it comes to power dynamics.

Because there’s more to sex than scissoring

The porn industry didn’t interpret lesbian sex very well. If you look up lesbian porn, most of them scissor. Though scissoring is an actual lesbian sex position, it’s not the only one they engage in. Lesbian sex involves a variety of positions and requires a decent level of flexibility. But, again, it’s not the only position. Oral sex, fingering, and strap-on sex is some examples of sexual acts included in lesbian sex.

Strap-on sex is penetrative sex

Sex between women via strap-on isn’t the same as a woman having sex with a man. The major difference is because one of them involves a man whereas the other involves a dildo. Strap-on sex is penetrative sex which has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Women, regardless of their sexuality, can enjoy penetrative sex and desire it with their female partner. This is where the strap-on plays an important role. It provides a lesbian couple the ability to have penetrative sex without involving a man. In other words, sometimes you just want to be penetrated.

So if you were wondering why some lesbians enjoy strap-on sex, these are some of the reasons why. The beauty of sex is everyone can enjoy different acts for reasons other than their sexuality, and strap-ons are simply a tool for exploration.

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